it's not me, it's you.

Dear Desks 1, 2, and 3:

I am sorry to have to tell you this, but it's just not working out. I need more space--and frankly, you're cramping my style. I am tired of seeing you sit around the house all day, collecting dust and taking up space. I am tired of having to tiptoe around you and your messes whenever I walk to the bathroom, the linen cupboard, the closet.

I've come to understand that you're not what I need at this point in my life. You have absolutely nothing to offer me, and it's useless to pretend otherwise. Sure, we may have had some good times, like that time I stood on Desk 2's back to change a certain light bulb, or all those years when I hid my excessive clutter inside the drawers of Desk 3, but those times are over. I feel no love for you now, only a fading sense of tolerance--and that is no way to live, for me or for you. It's time we went our separate ways, and moved on with our lives.

Please know that I still think you are all wonderful pieces of furniture with beautiful, quality workmanship--you're just not a good match for me. You deserve to be with someone that will cherish you, spend time with you, dust you off once in a while when you need it. I know in my heart that you all will find your special someones, and that you'll go on to create very lovely homes together.

Goodbye.

- Trish

* * * * *

3 desks were finally, finally kicked to the curb this week. Well, actually, they're still sitting in the living room, this massive congregation of heavy wooden legs and empty drawers, because I couldn't get anyone to pick them up sooner than next Tuesday, but in my mind they're already gone. The new empty space is, not surprisingly, refreshing and light. I'll post some pictures as soon as I get the voids cleaned up a bit better.

a bat in the bathroom

I was brushing my teeth the other night when I look up and am startled to find a wee little bat huddled way up in the corner. I shrieked.

- Honey, there's a bat in the bathroom!
- There is not. (I don't know why he never believes me--why would I make up something like that?)
- Yes, it's a bat. What other furry things do you know of that can hang upside down from ceilings?

When I finally managed to drag H. over to look at this thing, he finally conceded (-Ok, yes, it's a bat) but then it was late and we had to get up early the next morning, so we just closed the bathroom door and went to sleep. I left the lights on in there, figuring that maybe I could trick it into staying asleep and not flying all over the place.

The next morning at work I do a little research and I decide that this is something we can handle ourselves. The plan involves blocking off the rest of the house (I used a curtain rod, an old sheet, and lots of masking tape), opening up the door to the garage--which is thankfully very close to the bathroom--and then waiting for him to wake up at dusk, smell the fresh air coming in (bats, I learned, have a very good sense of smell), and just show himself out. So that evening we carry out all the preparations, open up the doors, and... nothing. The little bat just goes on sleeping.

From my research I had also learned that it was most likely a Mexican free-tailed bat, judging from his tail, that he most likely came from the attic (we'd left the attic door open when we were Pergo-ing around that doorway) and that we could also try scooping him up in a wet towel (taking care to protect our hands from his sharp bug-crunching teeth), and just carrying him outside.

After I warn him about the teeth, however, H. decides he'd like to try something else first, and he retrieves a squirt gun from somewhere in the garage. We fill it with a little water and hope that a few splashes will help the bat wake up.

This turns out to be a BAD IDEA.

After several squirts we have to stop--the poor little thing is feebly moving his wings a bit to shake off the water, but does not show any inclination to leave his roosting spot. In fact, he's even starting to shiver. (I also have pictures of the bat after the dousing but have decided to spare you--a wet bat is not a pretty sight.) We feel bad and decide to help him dry off by aiming the hair dryer on low temperature in his general direction, but then we get to worrying about stirring up air-borne pathogens, and didn't I just read about how bats are really sensitive to temperature changes?

Long story short, we finally get him wrapped in the wet towel and we take him out to the front lawn, where the bat immediately regains his bearings and takes off. We watch him for a moment as he flies high into the sky, circling around the yard, the house, and eventually disappearing from sight.

Then we go back inside to clean up the mess and get started on dinner.

tips for decluttered living

In the past year I've freed my home from truckloads upon truckloads of unwanted furniture, hundreds of boxes of extra stuff, and tons of junk. I thought I would share some of what I've learned in the process (note: I still have trouble with the second one, sometimes).

1. Make time, and dig in. Even 5 minutes a day of decluttering can make a big difference, and once you get things started (and see how much better you feel afterward!), you'll be more motivated to keep going. Another way to tackle clutter would be to weed out a set number of things each week--say, 6 items of clothing you don't wear anymore or 6 things in the kitchen that you never use or have too many of. I usually leave a "donations" box out for additional items that I find throughout the week.

2. Let go, already. If you've been holding on to something just because you *might* need it, consider how long you've had it without needing it so far, and how likely (or unlikely) it is that you really will need it in the future. Is it really worth the space it's taking up? If you've been holding on to something for sentimental reasons, realize that letting go of a thing is not the same thing as letting go of a memory--you can get rid of Grandma's antique tea set without losing or disrespecting your memory of her.

3. If you still can't let it go (it's ok), find a place to keep it that is worthy of the object's value to you. Put it on display in a prominent place in your home, or keep it tucked away in proper storage (read: not a musty box in your garage). Don't just cram it in anywhere--if you have to, make room for it by getting rid of something else.

4. Organize as you go, putting like things together. That way you can figure out what exactly you do have, what you have too much of, and what you shouldn't buy any more of.

5. Visualize what you want your home to look like. What do you want each space to be used for? Move, or get rid of, the things that don't belong.

6. Keep purging (and organizing) until your stuff fits in the space you want it to fit in. If it is taking a lot longer than you expected (and these projects usually do), hang in there! Take time to appreciate the progress that you're making, however slight it may seem.

7. After a space has been successfully cleared; keep it that way. Say no to knick-knacks and free junk. For that matter, you may want to look at all of your spending habits and figure out if what you're buying is really helping you or if (as in my mother's case) it's just adding to the mess.

More decluttering resources you might find helpful:
Zen habits: the ultimate guide to conquering your clutter (also see more decluttering tips)
Organized Home: Declutter 101
Apartment Therapy: Inventory your home (and then use it to declutter)
The Rethink Initiative: greener ways to get rid of e-waste
A few more places to find fellow declutterers like yourself
Book Review: It's All Too Much by Peter Walsch

cleaning out my desk(s)

I spent an hour or so last weekend emptying out the drawers of the three desks we plan to get rid of (just as soon as we can get them back down the stairs--I'm afraid my puny little arms aren't of much help in those kinds of matters). In one of the drawers I found this lab notebook. The first pages are covered in my mother's notes from physics class (this would be the only time I've ever seen evidence of her doing math); a couple of the later pages seem to have been used by my sister for some line graphs.

I wasn't sure what to do with it, really--in my mind, I imagine that the rest of the pages can be drawn on by future generations in future science classes, but it doesn't seem very realistic to expect that any kids would willingly choose a used notebook over a new one. I can't think of any real use for it otherwise... Scratch paper? I already have plenty. A doodle pad? I've got tons of those, too. In the end I just decided to set it aside with some of my sister's stuff and let her ponder over that one.

I embarrass myself daily

You know that kick-yourself feeling you get after you say something stupid, or do something stupid? I get that almost every day. Sometimes it happens immediately afterward, or sometimes not until way later--I'll be curled up with a book at the end of the day, and suddenly my mind will be struck with the thought: "That was dumb! Why did I have to say that?" or "Why did I write that?" And then I spend the next hour or half hour chasing the thoughts out of my mind.

I've been teaching myself to just let things go, but it's tough sometimes. I have to believe that the good outweighs the not-so-good, or I'd never make it anywhere.

make your own: boo-boo buddy

If you know someone that is prone to bumps and boo-boos, or if you suffer from frequent headaches like I do, this post is for you. If you just happen to love bean bag toys or sewing in general, this is also for you.

Inspired by the eye burrito featured in Sarah Sockit's t-shirt reconstruction book, Tease, and also by the animal scarves in Aranzi Aronzo's Cute Stuff, I designed this "boo-boo beanbag buddy" to be kept in the freezer, and taken out to apply to boo-boos when needed. (I sealed mine in a plastic bag first, to keep out freezer smells and excess moisture.) Best of all, the pieces are all cut from a single washcloth--yet another opportunity for creative reuse.

Here is the basic pattern I used. I started with a standard 12 inch x 12 inch square face towel. (If you want, you can easily switch the pointy ears for rounder ones, and make a bear or a puppy or a bunny instead of a cat.)

After cutting out all the pieces, sew together the two ears and the four legs, wrong sides out. Leave the bottom edges open, so that you can flip them right side out again. You should have something like this (the two on the left have been turned right side out).

Turn them all right side out. Add a face to the front of your "buddy." Applique works better than satin stitching on terry cloth; I would also advise against buttons, since almost no one enjoys pressing cold buttons to her skin when she is trying to soothe a boo-boo.

Now place the front piece of your buddy on the table, face side up, and arrange the ear and leg pieces the way you want them.

Carefully reverse the ears and legs so that they lie on top of the front piece, but keeping the seam lines in place. In more precise terms, think of the seam line as an axis, and each piece is merely rotating around this axis (sorry, that came out sort of math-y).

Then carefully lay the back piece, right-side down, on top of everything.

Pin pieces in place (you may find it easier to pin the ears and legs to just one side rather than trying to pin through all four layers of terry cloth).

Sew almost all the way around the outer edge, leaving a gap (about 3 inches or so) between the buddy's armpit and hip area. If this is to be a beanbag toy, you'll want to make reinforce this seam to make it extra strong.

Then turn the buddy rightside out again, pulling the head and tail ends carefully through the gap you left.

Now grab some of your favorite filler--I used beans instead of rice because I eat rice a lot (I'm a bland-taster just like the Queen) but I don't usually plan meals far enough ahead to have time to prepare beans properly--and stuff your buddy halfway to 3/4 full, or until you've reached the desired level of squishy bean-bagginess. You may want to use a funnel here, if you are a messy/impatient pourer like I am.

Almost there--get out your needle and thread, and close that gap in the seam with an invisible ladder stitch. That's it; you're done!

ta-da !

There's nothing like a brilliantly bare floor. Oh wait, actually the room looks more like this:

We were able to get nearly to the halfway point over the weekend--it went together a lot faster once we figured out the staggering pattern and stopped having to think about each piece so much. So far, I love it, but will probably love it less once all the furniture gets piled on top of it again. This room will have to be next on my declutter list.

Oh, and you know what REALLY came in handy? My Paddington Bear cushion, which was, in H's words, "like an orgasm for your knees" after an hour or so of kneeling on the hard floor without.

waiting...

I'm anxious to get some more decluttering done but I can't do much at the moment. At first I was waiting for the rain to stop (curbside pickup is so much more convenient than dropping off donations), and we are expecting more guests this week so I'm not about to clutter up the house with more boxes of donations, but perhaps I'll have time next weekend. I've thought about selling some of the larger furniture pieces on Craigslist or even posting on Freecycle (as suggested by Su in a long-ago comment), but in the end I just want it gone, and I don't want to deal with the hassle of returning emails, giving my address to strangers, or wondering if anyone is actually going to come and haul my stuff away. I think I'd rather just donate everything to a charity, and let someone else benefit from the sale / acquisition.

In the meanwhile, I will keep working on that reflooring project, maybe do a little gardening, and enjoy the lovely spring weather that has finally arrived.

I [heart] cardboard robots

I've been obsessed with robots lately (how could I not be after seeing these?) and finally I decided to just make my own. Actually, I've been working on various prototypes for an upcoming kid craft program at the library and I think I've found one that is super easy for the kids to make, requires a minimal amount of supplies, and yet allows for plenty of creativity. I've provided basic instructions below for making the box shape but I would encourage robot-builders to just play around and see what takes form.

Tools & Materials:
lightweight cardboard, such as that from an empty cereal box or kleenex box
scissors
stapler
markers (a silver sharpie is nice but not necessary)
craft glue
googley eyes and glitter (optional)
anything else you've got lying around that might make a good robot part

First, draw a square or rectangle shape for the head, then draw rectangles around it like so:

Cut out the shape, making vertical slits on the top and bottom edges (but being careful not to cut too far in--the outline of the face should remain intact). Then fold along the remaining lines, and tuck the top corners together (see how all the A's line up below?).

Then, simply staple through all three layers to secure the box shape. Do the same for the bottom. The box will be open in the back, which will make it easier to staple it to the other parts of the robot (it will also make it easier for little hands to handle and play with the robot afterwards). You can trim the edges to make it more even if you want to, but I think the inexactness adds to the charm.

Then make more boxes for the body, arms, and legs if desired. You could also use folded accordion strips, pipe cleaners, or whatever else catches your fancy. Go wild, and most importantly have fun.


You can also try using empty paper towel rolls to make little round 'bots:


And don't forget that a 2-dimensional robot will also make a good toy for small hands.


More robot inspiration:
Awesome Robot printable craft by Lou Lou Illustrations
AliceBlue's tissue dispensing robot on flickr
the genius of Guy Robot
Robot-a-Day's pattern for a paper bot
tons more free printable paper robots
cute robot cake made by jennycakes vegan bakery
and how sweet are these robot cupcakes by hello naomi?

for a rainy day

It seems we are in for another rainy week. I am glad for the rain--we so seriously, seriously need it--but it sure is dreary. Here is a bit of homemade sunshine to perk up the cloudy gloom: a horsey marionette that my mother made when I was little--she tells me that she used a pattern she found in some magazine. The puppet was hanging in the back of a closet, a miserable tangle of strings and cloth and wood for a long time, until I rescued it and hung it up here to add cheer to my workspace. I also found two whole binders full of pages that my mother had saved from 1970s magazines, which I set aside to look through more carefully later.

I am not a skilled puppeteer, but I wish I were. One of these days I would love to make this lovely puppet theater (more examples here) from Amy Karol's Bend the Rules Sewing book, and then I would have my very own stage on which to practice my craft. Or, more likely, I could pair it with a couple of handmade puppets, and present it as a gift to a creative child, should I ever find one worthy enough.